This is a great question, right? Have you ever made some time for yourself to think about the problems you have and understand what the problem actually was? Or who the problem was to the problems you are in right now? How many times did you blame others for your situation right now? These are all questions that are pretty good for you to start answering. Are you and me the problem of our own problems? Keep on reading!
Having problems with unjust people?
Do you have problems right now in your life? Well, let me start with myself. I used to have lots of problems with some things in life and I don’t want to talk about in lots of detail. These problems made me feel very angry and I could really get angry at the people who I thought gave me the problems that I was facing right now. Actually, when I looked closely at the problems I had in my life and started questioning the situation, I came to the conclusion that it is my own problem. Now I will tell you why.
I got in a situation were injustice was the cause of my anger and I can’t deal with injustice. I think that is a good character I have, but how can I be the problem of the problem then? Let me give you the answer. It was the way I dealt with the situation. Simple answer right. So when you have a problem in life and you are sure that the other side is the problem, please have a look at the situation better. It could be that you are right. If you are right then you are right, but it is the way that we deal with some people. If you change the way you react to some situations in life you will notice that you will be more relaxed and the one on the other side will eat his or her heart out because you stay so relaxed.
So the first lesson: look at the situation and really think about how you reacted to the problem that you were facing. Why does it keep happening?
This one is pretty much the most important one. When you look at different situations in your life the most noticeable of all are the problems were emotions are involved. You can see and tell that if you just changed the way you dealt with your emotions, the outcome would have been completely different.
This is something we need to keep in mind every day. Controlling your emotions during hard times or when somebody does do something unjust against you is super important. Let me give an example. When somebody is trying to do something unjust against you and it really has a big effect on you, you will feel anger coming up and before you know it, you will start screaming and the tables will turn around.
First, you were the one who was right, but because you got angry and started screaming, the other person will go into a victim role. So now the tables turn around and guess what, you are the one who is the problem now.
Never, never act based on emotions you feel at the moment. I have had this way too many times, so I know what I am talking about at this moment. Emotions are something very useful. It makes us human, but never forget that during these kinds of situations you need to be able to control it.
So are you the problem?
Yes, we are the problem of our own problems. It can sound unfair but really think about it. How many times did you have a problem with you saying that it is the fault of the other guy or girl? I think a lot of times. If you really want to solve a problem, start with you.
We can be the problem of the problems in our lives or we can be the healers of our problems. There is one thing that you always need to keep in mind: “Change starts with you”. Let the other person get angry and don’t even bother wasting your time discussing with this person.
This is not easy, but it really can decide whether you are the problem or the person in front of you is the problem. The person in front of you starts with something because he or she likes to make other people angry and if you go and act like the person in front of you, then you will be on the same level as the person in front of you. That is not something you want.
We are all responsible for our actions and if you change the way you act in some situations, you will see that you will be much better off.
What can you do?
I want to give some tips on what you can do in order to become a problem solver and not the problem.
1. Control emotions
As I said before, keep your emotions under control. This is the main reason why people become the problem instead of the person who does act unjustly against you. If you control your emotions, you will have much more control over the situation and you can think about ways to solve this problem, instead of making it worse.
When the person in front of you acts unjustly against you, you need to keep calm and ask what you have done. Ask for an explanation. I mean if they are really right, then they must have an explanation for the way they talk with you and the way they act. If they don’t have any explanation, then you know enough. Then you can tell them: “Hey, you have no reason to act in the way you are acting towards me right now”. Roles change if you do this.
3. Confront them later
When something happens that is really unjust, just do the other steps above and just walk away from it for now. I am not saying that you need to let it go for now. Hey, you got to be smart. Walk away for now and when you come home, just write down what has happened and get an idea of what went wrong and how it came to this situation you are in right now. The next time you see the same person again, step up to him and confront him or her this time. Tell the person what you have felt and what the problem was and how you do want to solve it. If they don’t want it, well you have done your job. The great thing is that you became the problem solver and the other person became the problem.
So I hope the next time when you face injustice in your life, you will pick it up differently. Hereby I will sum up the things that are the most important to keep in your mind when somebody does act u
- Keep your emotions under control.
- Confront them later.
- Scan the situation.
- Never do act based on the emotions you feel at that moment.
These are some useful tips to keep in mind when you face an unjust situation. Keep working hard on yourself! Hope you liked this post and learned a lot from it!