Book review: How to win friends and influence people

I just love reading. Books bring so much peace into my life. With these kinds of posts, I want to motivate you to read more. Today we will have a review of a very special book. The book is called: How to win friends and influence people and it is written by Dale Carnegie.

1. Why did I read this book and why should you read it too

Well, let me first start off with the fact why I bought this book. When I first read the title of this book, I was kind of hooked to it already. You know what they say: “Never judge a book by its cover.” So I did not do that and I started reading the back of the book to know a little bit more about what this book was about. On the back of the book I found the following text:

Dale Carnegie’s rock-solid, time tested advice has carried countless people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives. One of the most groundbreaking guidebooks of all time, How to win friends & influence people will teach you:

– The six ways to make people like you.
– The twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking.
– The nine ways to charge people without arousing resentment.

So when I saw this, I was completely hooked and I knew I had to buy this book. You might be asking: “It is still not clear what the main reason is why you bought this book?” The main reason is that I want to know how people think and how I could change my habits to become a better person. Not only because of these reasons, but also because I want to become a better leader myself and this book could show me some ways to become a better leader.

If you want to learn how you can influence people than this book can be something amazing for you too. With influence, I mean understanding people better and understanding the person in front of you better.

2. What is this book about?

2.1 PART ONE: Fundamental techniques in handling people

You can go after the job you want- And get it! You can take the job you have- And improve it! You can take any situation- And make it work for you!

How to win friends & influence people

To understand this book you can read which is written above. The essence lies in the fact that you can take any situation and make it work for you. This book explains a lot about how people work and how you need to do your best to understand the person in front of you by showing honest interest in the other person.

This book explains the needs of almost everybody. Most people want these things:

Some of the things most people want include:

1. Health and the preservation of life.
2. Food
3. Sleep
4. Money and the things money will buy
5. Life in the hereafter
6. Sexual gratification
7. The well-being of our children
8. A feeling of importance

How to win friends & influence people

This book tells us that people want to feel important or they are in need of one of the following things in the list above. Every person has these needs. You, me and the rest of the people on this planet.

Self-expression is the dominant necessity of human nature.

How to win friends & influence people

Further more, the first part teaches us the following things:

  • Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
  • Give honest and sincere appreciation.
  • Arouse in the other person an eager want.

This is mainly being told in the first part.

2.2 PART TWO: Six ways to make people like you

Did you ever stop to think that a dog is the only animal that doesn’t have to work for a living? A hen has to lay eggs, a cow has to give milk and a canary has to sing. But a dog makes his living by giving you nothing but love.

How to win friends & influence people

When I first saw this part, I thought: “Well, are you trying to tell me to become a dog?” Then I started reading on and I came to the part where it tells the following:

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you

How to win friends & influence people

So sir Dale Carnegie, actually tells to be really interested in people and showing them unconditional love from the heart can help you make a lot more friends than you could ever dream of.

Then it follows up with the following:

It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring

How to win friends & influence people

There are six ways to make people like you according to this book.

  • Become genuinely interested in other people
  • Smile
  • Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  • Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  • Talk in terms of the other person’s interests
  • Make the other person feel important- and do it sincerely.

2.3 PART THREE: How to win people to your way of thinking

One of the first things I saw when I started reading this part, is: “You will never win an argument.” Sir Dale Carnegie gave us some suggestions on how to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument:

  • Welcome the disagreement.
  • Distrust your first instinctive impression.
  • Listen first.
  • Look for areas of agreement.
  • Be honest.
  • Promise to think over your opponent’s ideas and study them carefully.
  • Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest.
  • Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem.

Sir Dale Carnegie gives us 12 principles in order to win people to your way of thinking:

  • The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
  • Show respect for the other person’s opinion.
  • If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
  • Begin in a friendly way.
  • Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
  • Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
  • Let the person feel that the idea is his or hers.
  • Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
  • Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
  • Appeal to the nobler motives.
  • Dramatize your ideas.
  • Throw down a challenge.

3. Most important lessons

The most important lessons I have learned are the following:

  • Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
  • Become genuinely interested in other people.
  • Smile.
  • Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
  • The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

4. My honest rating

I really enjoyed this book. I have learned a lot from this book. The main thing which really stuck with me is the fact to let people talk more about themselves than me talking about myself the whole time. Show interest in other people. Everybody has their dreams. Let them talk about their dreams. Show interest in them and keep asking them more.

With that being said, I give this book a 8 out of 10.

5. Summary

To wrap up I want to say that this book is amazing and very well formulated. Every part has a clear message and that is what I like the most.

I want to say to you all that there is actually a part 4, but I will let you read that on your own :). Buy the book and let it amaze you! Happy reading and let me know what your thoughts are about this book.

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